Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.
Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.
Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.
Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.
(via ugly)
I told this girl I liked the perfume she was wearing, and she legit got it out of her bag and sprayed it on me like ‘here girl smell sexy with me too’. she was so cute I hope she has a good life
Pure
(via may)
That paw’s GLOWIN
Is no one talking about the dog’s face?
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via ugly)
Always be kind to the janitor.
Always be kind to the waitress.
Always be kind to the person at the call center.
Always be kind to the cashier.
Always be kind to receptionist.
Always be kind, When it’s possible.
(via nice-wig-janis)
anyone else really happy they got over their “i hate the color pink” phase
(via over-the-pink-moon)
